Wallow, Wallow, Wallow

I take everything to heart and wear my heart on my sleeve. In other words, I am sensitive. On top of that I think everything is my fault and that the slightest transgression will cause those I care about to flee. In the past few days I have done things that I fear will cause my husband to leave and he has done things (which of course I think reflect on me) that fill me with dread that friends will avoid me. And because of our relationship I discussed this all with Bill. He tells me that I feel that I am not enough. Meaning that unless I please everyone, and never cause any waves, I worry that they will go away. I can no longer blame my father, or mother or the alcoholic house (thanks Uncle Jimmy) in which I grew up. So instead .. wallow, wallow, wallow!

Learning my lesson

At my desk, here at work, I have a quote posted that reads "And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." I posted it after a particularly trying time and try to read it every day. But often I get too wrapped up in my latest concern and forget. I did that this past week. I was stressing and wondering how things would work out. An unexpected turn of events relieved the aforementioned stress. Once again, I understand the philosophy of trust. But, I won't say its forever because I don't think I am ready to learn my lesson just yet.

Spring

Spring has sprung. At least it has in my sinuses.If I stop typing it is because my eyes have shot out and splattered against the screen.