I consider myself to be a happy person. In general, I am lighthearted and can usually find something to laugh about in just any situation. I was a happy baby,and child, even though there was chaos all around me. But lately things are different....
I recently went through a very tough financial situation. The rug was pulled out from underneath me. And I felt a fear and hopelessness that I had never experienced. By karmic intervention we were able to right things .. somewhat. For a few weeks I felt secure and happier than I had in a long time. But then the fear came back. (I have come to find out that it is somewhat justified.) I can't seem to brush this one off. Is it because I am older? I am a more jaded? Where has my optimism gone?
More than anything I miss the hopefulness of youth. When anything seemed possible. I feel flashes of it now but only when I hear an old song and I remember. But 3 minutes of hope is not enough.
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